How to please a man

It’s been a long year.  Economy is down, the weather is turning to crap, and the hit TV show Community has been dropped from the mid season lineup.  It’s been a rough rough year.  But now, this is where I come in, and I have some advice for everyone.

First, ladies please, don’t nag your man.  It’s been a rough year, remember?  Instead of asking him to take out the garbage, please him, give him what he really wants, a cool crisp refreshing beer.  Pleasure comes in many forms, but what men really want comes in 12oz bottles of heaven. 

Now women, I know what you’re thinking, “Why should I give him a beer, I work hard too!”  Well, it’s a simple concept.  You give him a beer, he’s happy and you can go back to watching crappy reality television shows.  You’re also pleasing him without ever removing an article of clothing.  And if there is one thing I have learned from married couples, women do not like sleeping with men.

Now, lets turn to the gentlemen.  I know many of you men out there would rather have sex than a beer, but hear me out first.  Beer is like a cheap hooker without all the STDs.  It costs $24 for a rack, it makes you feel good for several hours and when you’re done you can just throw it away.  It’s a simple concept and a win-win for everyone.  Except for the hookers, being replaced by beer and all.

So ladies, do you part.  Give your man a beer.  He’ll love you for it.  Also, you should have sex with him too, you know, just to be nice.

Why beer is better than your child….

Are you like me? In your late 20’s, childless, on facebook a lot, and have a lot of friends who are getting knocked up?  Yeah, I thought so….  There are a lot of us out there.  It’s not our faults we don’t have children.  We fancy ourselves as individuals responsible enough not to have children.  But I digress, the reason I started the topic of “Why beer is better than your child” is because lately on FB, a large portion of my friends are having children.  Good for you, you are keeping our civilization moving forward.  But I don’t care for every living update about your child.  I’m your friend, and I will feign interest in your child, but I don’t give a damn that he looks sooooo cute in his new sailor outfit.  That outfit sucks.  Your kid will actually hate you later on in life about that picture.  Look, I know I will be a terrible parent, hell, I can barely keep myself alive with the help of my mother.  So, that’s why I have adopted something far better than any child, beer.  Let me tell you why beer is so amazing.

Regardless of how you treat it, beer will always love you.  All it wants is to be consumed.  Children on the other hand? I assume you have to feed them, bathe them, probably have to change them.  Beer won’t go through that awkward stage when all it does is resent you.  Children will do that.  You remember your middle school years?  You hated everyone and everything.  Beer, nah, it ain’t like that.  Beer just wants to sit down next to you, and enjoy your company.  And what’s the great part about beer?  It will help you forget that you had children.  Yeah, after a few of your closest beer buddies, those little jerk children seem to cry less and less.  And ladies and gentlemen, that’s parenting!

 

Which one of those seems better?  Yeah, I figured as much…..

BEER!

Men’s room red ale

So I finally took the plunge had bought myself and my roommate a 22oz of the popular Men’s Room Red Ale.  First off, it is only famous because there is a large number of men who love the Men’s room radio show.  Secondly, I don’t listen to the show (Karate Emergency on KJR is what I listen too) but I know a lot of people who do and they love it. 

So lets move onto the beer.  If you love Red Ales, this really taste like a traditional red ale.  It has a very bold red body with a little hint of hops.  To me it taste like most Red Ales, good body, nothing over-bearing.  I would not consider this the best beer ever, but it is far from the worst I’ve had.  Over the years I have grown further away from Red Ales and more towards Pale Ales but in a pinch I would drink this and enjoy it.

My rating 7 out of 10. 

 

ABV – 5.6%

Hops – Chinook and Cascade

Malts – Chrip 77 Crystal, Munich, Cara-hell, Cara-red and Cara-Vienna (Try brewing it homebrewers!)

Guinness Black Lager

While partying my butt off in San Diego, my buddies and I came across a BevMo.  And I understand we do not have these in Seattle (Shame), but there I found Guinness Black Lager, their new venture into making beer that follow the dark as night tradition.

I had my buddy Mike, whom I consider the beer master to tell me exactly what he felt when he drank the new Guinness Black Lager.  The first words out of his mouth were, “Taste like Heineken.”  And once I got to taste, it really did.  I was very disappointed in it.

Overall, I give it a 4.  It has some okay qualities, and some people may love it.  But not me.

 

Battle of the Coppers!

First and foremost I need to tell people about how difficult it is to blog about beer.  My favorite beer drinker Mike and I went out with the intentions of comparing our two favorite Copper beers.  Redhook Copperhook and Snoqualmie Copperhead.  Both are fantastic beers; in fact both are some of my favorites.  But let me get back to said problem.   Getting drunk.  We got drunk and almost forgot what each tasted like when we did a back to back comparison.  Thank god for my photographic memory!!

 

So here we go, battle of the coppers!  Wait, maybe for those who do not know what a copper is, here is a brief rundown.

 

Copper Ale’s are a style of beer that have a copper color to them (odd huh!).  They usually consist of pale malt and IBU’s are usually between 25 and 40.  That being said, they are known to have a crist refreshing flavor for an Ale and go great with many dishes.   A lot of experts claim that their is no real “Copper” style Ale and they are just Pale Ale with a copper color.  To them I say, “shut up and let me enjoy them.”

 

Copperhook is probably my favorite beer on the market.  It is cool, crist and refreshing.  It is the ultimate beer.  And in the past year or so, Redhook changed it from a seasonal to a year around beer.

I know what you guys are going to say off the bat.  It says Pale Ale right in it!  But it is also a copper.   Copperhead itself is a little more hoppy, a lot more body and not anywhere as refreshing.  But that isn’t a bad thing, the body has a lot of flavor, and you can really taste those hops at the finish.

 

Now the comparisons!

Copperhead vs Copperhook!

There are 3 categories (Aroma, Appearance, Flavor)  winner of the majority is a better beer…

Aroma – Copperhook has a cool crisp smell to it.  For the average beer drinker, you wouldn’t necessarily smell anything out of the ordinary.  There is a slight hop smell to it, but nothing compared to Copperhead.  Copperhead has a rich hoppy smell to it, that is not overwhelming like many IPA’s out there.  This is a category I give to Copperhead.

Advantage – Copperhead

Appearance - Redhook gives Copperhook a clear advantage.  One of the bigger breweries in the United States, it can create a constisant beer that looks good.  It has beautiful copper hue to it, and just makes your mouth drool when you look at it.  Copperhead is a bit darker but still with a copper tint.  It is a little more cloudy, therefore Copperhead takes this one.

Advantage – Copperhook

Flavor – This all depends on your taste.  We were drinking Copperhead out of a growler that we got earlier in the day and we were drinking Copperhook out of the bottle.  That being said, the flavor of Copperhook is amazing.  I don’t know how many times I can call it cool, crisp and refreshing but it is.  It has a slight malt flavor with a slight hop finish.  For new beer drinkers it is a great choice will seasoned veterns will like the complexity of the flavor and the refreshing nature of it.  That is not to say the Copperhead is horrible.  In fact it is amazing.  It has a lot more body and hoppy finish than Copperhead.  People who love body in their beer will enjoy Copperhead.

Advantage – Copperhook

There you go, battle of the Coppers goes to Copperhook!  But Copperhead is delicious.  If you want to spend a day doing something fun, go to Snoqualmie, visit the falls, drop some money in the casino and drink your sorrows for losing it all at the Snoqualmie Brewery.

 

What I am most thankful for.

It’s the holidays again!  Time to break out those ugly sweaters, dust off those old relatives you never see anymore and get drunk like you’ve never gotten drunk before.  Every Thanksgiving we are asked what we are thankful for; the usual responses are family, health, football, etc.  But I am here to tell you what I am most thankful for and what everyone should be thankful for.  Beer.  As Redhook states, it’s liquid goodness.  Boy, are they correct.

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself where you would be without beer?  Skinnier, healthier liver, not hooking up with ugly people?  That’s what makes beer so great, you don’t care about all of those!  You just sit back, and enjoy the flavor of your favorite lager or stout.  This is what I am most thankful for.  Nothing is more perfect then sitting down in a comfy chair, sipping on a delicious Guinness or an amazing local micro brew.

So have a beer or twenty these holidays.  It makes dealing with the family much easier.

Cheers!

Live from Black Raven Brewery!

Well, thanks to wi-fi internet and my nifty netbook, I am at the Black Raven brewery while I write this.  So, you will be getting reviews for 9 great beers instantly as I taste them.  I have another expert here with me.  Mr. Mike Darrah, beer legend.