It’s been a long year. Economy is down, the weather is turning to crap, and the hit TV show Community has been dropped from the mid season lineup. It’s been a rough rough year. But now, this is where I come in, and I have some advice for everyone.
First, ladies please, don’t nag your man. It’s been a rough year, remember? Instead of asking him to take out the garbage, please him, give him what he really wants, a cool crisp refreshing beer. Pleasure comes in many forms, but what men really want comes in 12oz bottles of heaven.
Now women, I know what you’re thinking, “Why should I give him a beer, I work hard too!” Well, it’s a simple concept. You give him a beer, he’s happy and you can go back to watching crappy reality television shows. You’re also pleasing him without ever removing an article of clothing. And if there is one thing I have learned from married couples, women do not like sleeping with men.
Now, lets turn to the gentlemen. I know many of you men out there would rather have sex than a beer, but hear me out first. Beer is like a cheap hooker without all the STDs. It costs $24 for a rack, it makes you feel good for several hours and when you’re done you can just throw it away. It’s a simple concept and a win-win for everyone. Except for the hookers, being replaced by beer and all.
So ladies, do you part. Give your man a beer. He’ll love you for it. Also, you should have sex with him too, you know, just to be nice.